Uncorked Off the Chain

Author: Jameson Gregg
Publisher: Mountain Arbor Press
Size: 25.98 MB
Format: PDF
Category :
Pages : 224
Uncorked Off the Chain GET EBOOK
Jameson Gregg, a lawyer for the first half of his career, came to his senses, hung up his wingtips, and got busy writing humor. His first book, Luck Be A Chicken: a comic novel, won for him Georgia Author of the Year. ("The wit is reminiscent of Twain," wrote the judge, and "a must-read" for Foxworthy fans.) In Uncorked & Off the Chain, Jameson delivers with chops and attitude hilarious cutting-edge opinion, observational humor, and tales from the wild side. No topic is off limits, from sports, gambling, and drinking (his name's not Jameson for nothing), to dogs, marriage, and religion. "Benefits of yoga in order of importance: 1) flatulence prompting, 2) flexibility, 3) strength. Strike the downward dog pose and you'll be breaking wind like Gandhi. Namaste!" "You can't do justice to the job of rubbernecking at 70 mph." "When, why, and how did the pound (#) symbol become a 'hashtag'?" Jameson unveils plans for radically revamping the Olympics and pontificates on other pressing sports issues of the day. "It slays me when a golfer hits it close to the hole and the commentator says, 'Golly, he just hit a perfect shot.' Bull****. If the ball doesn't go in the hole, it isn't the perfect shot." "In OJ's defense, I think every Heisman Trophy winner should have one free pass at any felony of his choice. Well, okay, maybe two. Perhaps three." "So if eating is our true pastime, the greatest eater must be the Greatest Athlete, and that, my friends, would easily be California's Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut, competitive eating juggernaut." He also rails against the establishment, has a keen eye for societal absurdities, and doles out sage man advice. "Allow me to summarize the man/woman dynamic: Men under-listen; women over-talk." "Why don't we have topless bars at airports?" "My dad has been married and divorced five times. His philosophy is that it's time to move on when your wife's butt grows as broad as a number-two washtub."
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Jameson Gregg, a lawyer for the first half of his career, came to his senses, hung up his wingtips, and got busy writing humor. His first book, Luck Be A Chicken: a comic novel, won for him Georgia Author of the Year. ("The wit is reminiscent of Twain," wrote the judge, and "a must-read" for Foxworthy fans.) In Uncorked & Off the Chain, Jameson delivers with chops and attitude hilarious cutting-edge opinion, observational humor, and tales from the wild side. No topic is off limits, from sports, gambling, and drinking (his name's not Jameson for nothing), to dogs, marriage, and religion. "Benefits of yoga in order of importance: 1) flatulence prompting, 2) flexibility, 3) strength. Strike the downward dog pose and you'll be breaking wind like Gandhi. Namaste!" "You can't do justice to the job of rubbernecking at 70 mph." "When, why, and how did the pound (#) symbol become a 'hashtag'?" Jameson unveils plans for radically revamping the Olympics and pontificates on other pressing sports issues of the day. "It slays me when a golfer hits it close to the hole and the commentator says, 'Golly, he just hit a perfect shot.' Bull****. If the ball doesn't go in the hole, it isn't the perfect shot." "In OJ's defense, I think every Heisman Trophy winner should have one free pass at any felony of his choice. Well, okay, maybe two. Perhaps three." "So if eating is our true pastime, the greatest eater must be the Greatest Athlete, and that, my friends, would easily be California's Joey 'Jaws' Chestnut, competitive eating juggernaut." He also rails against the establishment, has a keen eye for societal absurdities, and doles out sage man advice. "Allow me to summarize the man/woman dynamic: Men under-listen; women over-talk." "Why don't we have topless bars at airports?" "My dad has been married and divorced five times. His philosophy is that it's time to move on when your wife's butt grows as broad as a number-two washtub."
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